7:52- Because I will be damned by god's own cock if a Texan gets the top post on my own blog. Not this blog. Not this night.
7:53- We've made too many compromises already. Too many retreats. They pretend to be their own country, and we fall back. They waltz into the White House and invade entire countries, and we fall back. They kick this shit out of my all time favorite sports team, and we fall back. NOT AGAIN! THE LINE MUST BE DRAWN HE-AHH! THIS FAR, NO FURTHER! AND I WILL MAKE THEM PAY FOR WHAT THEY HAVE DONE!
7:56- *Smashes his Dad's collection of miniature baseball stadiums with a phaser rifle*
7:59- Seriously, though, check the thread below. CWS guest blog-entator Mike Whitlow is talking about his mom's reaction to the game, which is a blessed respite from him talking about MY mom's reaction to HIS "game".
8:01- Someone is holding a sign saying "Charlie Shaefer loves the Cardinals". I hope it is NOT Charlie Shaefer, because that would be just awesomely bizzare.
8:04- Hey everyone, let's keep talking about Joe Buck's dead dad. That'll make sure he stops being so laconic and terrible!
8:08- Based on that ad for "J. Edgar", I'm starting the conspiracy theory that Leo DiCaprio actual has a terrible stutter and is choosing projects that let him hide it. NOW GO, EVIL INTERNET! DO MY BIDDING!
8:09- Fernando Salas is pitching to start the fourth. I don't see how that's much different than just eliminating the "starter" role altogether.
8:11- Oh for the love of the great pulsating fuck.
8:12- Matt Holiday: bad at left field. Good at the oboe.
8:13- Mike Napoli killed Steve Jobs with a trident.
9:15- Oh god...the swirly, inky blackness....
8:16- Apparently, Mike Napoli's only weakness is shitty, shitty, absolutely, terrible, seriously, sweet high holy lord of fuck what is WRONG with you people baseball happening six inches over his ear.
8:18- The best thing about Napoli's injury is it gives me time to think about that last play.
8:19- WHOOOPS, BLOGGER TYPO. I meant "drink" about that last play. Fuck.
8:20- Oh, whiskey whiskey, whisk me away...
8:21- Jeremy Pelzer: "Someone should go as Mike Napoli for Halloween to scare the hell out of you."
8:22- Even in catching that ball, Holiday looked like an inbred fart.