Saturday, October 29, 2011

Blue Jackets @ Blackhawks: Period 2: Electric Boogaloo

8:35- The Hawks have left their net all but empty twice, but luckily, the emo nihilists that make up the Blue Jackets said, "Why bother? It's all bullshit anyway."

8:40- Toews is called for a penalty. He knew it was coming, so he gave some jerk a cheap shot. What the hell, he's already going to the box.

8:41- That's 8 penalty minutes. Greasy god. Are the Hawks going through their rebellious teenager phase? Could some cheerleader just give 'em a handy so they calm down?

8:42- MY BAD! Whiskey Dick gets the Penalty, Hawks on the power play. I'd recommend a handy for Whiskey Dick, too, but, well, the problem presents itself, doesn't it?

8:44- Two shots look like goals, but aren't called. The replay looks like they shouldn't be goals. But can't we call them goals on federal "Make Ohioans miserable" laws?

8:46- BTW, this, like all video review, goes to the NHL's "War Room" in Toronto. The refs call it in, the nerds check it out and make the final call. It's basically my favorite method of reviewing a play. And yeah, I rank those. Don't you?

8:51- Foley: "The Blue Jackets have only made the playoffs- well, they've never won a playoff game, let's put it that way." I love it when the broadcasters realize they don't know what they're talking about after their gobs have already been flapping for most of a sentence.

8:53- Though to be fair to Pat, he at least course corrected. Tim McCarver would just double-down on the horseshit. Mike Shannon would just drink more.

8:54- This is a ridiculously horrific Power Play. This is the "Scooby Doo 2" of Power Plays.

8:56- Some jerk on Columbus- who's only claim to fame, as far as Foley can tell, is that he played in the AHL- scores. 2-2.

8:59- The very fact that this game is tied should make the Hawks feel like they ate bad taco meat.

9:07- What a horrid little mongoloid of a period. See you in the next thread.

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