Friday, February 10, 2012

Blackhawks Need a Bigger Boat

9:35 - I'm having a beer with my dad and blogging the Blackhawks after getting back from the Chicago Auto Show where I saw the Blackhawks Camaro.  Outside of blowjobs I don't know if life gets much better.

9:36 - Looks like Crow has a new bonnet.  I'm assuming this will make him play better.  I'm only being 50% snarky.  If we get the win tonight I'll be a believer.  Hell I might drink my own piss out of it if he gets a shutout.

9:38 - God I miss Niemi.

9:39 - Either Kaner is injured and I'm unaware or he's sobbing into a sorority girl's tits right now that he isn't on the starting line.  Every cab driver in San Jose better wear a goalie mask tonight.

9:40 - 4 minutes of power play?  Can we just give them a goal now and get 5 back out there?

9:41 - Anyone else see that goal coming like 5 seconds out?  Does Crow have sandbags tied to his skates?

9:44 - Yes, thanks for the penalty, but why isn't anyone beating the shit out of Marleau right now?

9:49 - Hey announcers, you aren't Dr. Seuss, stop rhyming.  (Dr. Seuss on an angry pussy hunt.  Thank you Patton Oswalt)

9:53 - Okay so Kane isn't injured, he just isn't starting.  Someone's tatties are soaked in tears.

9:54 - One Shark gets a breakaway against two Blackhawk defenders, and the crowd got excited.  I can't blame them given how we've played lately.

9:58 - Glad to see people willing to defend their teammates....unless it's the goalie.

9:59 - Fuck it, let's just all drop gloves and fight.

10:02 - Well that just happened.

10:05 - "25 out of the next 28 games are against playoff teams."  Okay, after the 7th time y'all said that it sunk in.  Let me also clarify that over half the teams in NHL get into the playoffs.  So that may not be the greatest distinction.

10:07 - 53.33333% of NHL teams make the playoffs.  Just some clarification.

10:09 - The Sharks just had a short-handed offensive possession.  Not a short handed chance, a short-handed possession where they kept it in play without getting offsides and putting shots on goal.  Maybe we should play the rest of this game 5 on 4 just to make it entertaining.

10:10 - apparently the refs agree.

10:15 - well I'm glad the announcers have given up on this as a hockey game and have decided to score the fights, boxing style, for the rest of this match up.  YAY!  How about this:  every fight we win we get half a goal.  If we win 4 fights can we tie it up?

10:17 - The Hawks escape the 1st period having only given up 2.  Join us next thread for more catty bitchiness.

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